Friday, November 15, 2019

Airport Revenues Soar After Allowing Travelers To Pay To Turn Off CNN | The Babylon Bee

Airport Revenues Soar After Allowing Travelers To Pay To Turn Off CNN | The Babylon Bee
Airport Revenues Soar After Allowing Travelers To Pay To Turn Off CNN

WORLD—Airports around the world are reporting record revenues after introducing a long-awaited feature: the ability to turn off CNN on television sets in their terminals.
For just one quarter, you can turn off CNN for a full fifteen minutes while you're waiting for your flight, leaving you with the "far superior" experience of just staring at a blank screen.
"At long last," said one man waiting for his flight at LaGuardia as he dropped a few dollars' worth of quarters into the "Turn CNN Off" slot. "Honestly, I might fly more now." He's not alone: airports expect a 426% uptick in traveling over the holidays as flyers no longer have to worry about having the droning words of CNN hosts pounded into their heads for hours on a layover..."
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